#i hate my teen self for a variety of reasons
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#i hate my teen self for a variety of reasons#but the main one that keeps coming after me#is the fact that i wanted to be cool and have an ''artistic name'' to use everywhere online because ''i'm an artist and i'm cool''#and went and chose an actual name that exists and people are called that#and that is a female name so now it gives me dysphoria and also doesn't even resemble my name (either chosen or legal) in any fucking way#so now when i have job prospects i have to go like ''ok this is my name please refer to me as such#but everything legal i gotta sign i'm gonna use this other name#oh the name on this email i'm literally talking to you with? yeah pls ignore that one''#like now it's kinda too late to change cause it's literally everywhere#but also I don't want to publish books under this absolutely horrible thing#and i hate myself so much#jfnsjg#like this is what happens when your birthname gives you dysphoria but you don't understand#so you change it to a different girl's name#UGH#i'm gonna have to keep using my '''''''artistic name''''''''' for like social media and shit because that's the only googleable now#but nobody fucking utter it!#ajfnjs#angel talks#personal
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